My name is Dilip and …

There she was sitting right in front of me,
Under the shade of a banyan tree.
The frequent glances, to catch a glimpse of my face,
Made the world around me lose its place.
One step forward, was all that mattered?
An unknown, that had to be answered.

An Assassin called Pain!

Recently I had been to a dentist to get my wisdom tooth extracted. Apparently my wisdom (tooth) was all crooked and was causing me hell lot of pain. My surgeon said the only way I can survive is to get it extracted along with a part of the bone and gums. It was one of the most horrible experiences and made me wonder whether the surgeon and the dentist had some hidden agenda against my worldly wisdom. With a hacksaw blade, a hammer and a sickle he extracted my tooth and removed quite a bit of my bone and jaw to make sure the wisdom never grows back. My wisdom had to endure a battle of survival but unfortunately in this case the brawn won against the wisdom.

But the ordeal did not end there. In the melee the surgeon made sure my lower jaw was dislocated and that’s when all hell broke loose. After the initial couple of weeks the mother of all pains started and I did not know what was causing all the pain. I was under the impression that the worst of it was over and all my tooth needed was some care and medicines. But after a couple of sleepless nights I found out about this new dislocation problem. The pain was so excruciating that all through the night I could neither sit nor stand. And this was after three strong pain-killers. The pain-killer was like sending US troops to Afghanistan to tackle the elusive Osama...

I have always wondered why people commit suicide. What makes them so desperate that they would want to end their life? Interestingly, this recent experience of mine gave me some first-hand insight to this phenomenon. I mean the pain was so severe and after two sleepless nights I was asking aloud as to why I have to suffer so much - with the usual “why ‘me’?” question. I had nothing to do the entire night but pray, shout and whimper. And since the status quo didn’t change it looked like my praying had no affect…or maybe even the Almighty couldn’t fight the pain. It made me wonder if I am finding it this difficult to tackle the pain caused by a jaw dislocation how could someone tolerate more ‘non-physical’ pain?!?

I mean after couple of days of heat treatment and stronger medicines I can try to continue my joyful life but that may not be the case for so many others who are suffering from more of a mental trauma? There are solutions to those too but that would require more time and patience and of-course much more effort…Just made me feel more sympathetic to people suffering from these kinds of ailments. All I can say is that the next time I read a headline or hear the news about someone committing suicide I will be extra careful not to just dismiss the case as one of those nut cases who can’t handle their lives. I will remember that it would just take a couple of sleepless nights and the feeling that the pain will never subside for someone to take the drastic measure of ending their life…It would have been another beautiful day the next day but people would have to endure another dreadful night to see that next day...